Language of Love Wishful Drinking Beer Boogie Partners How Do You Know?

For the shy guy who longs to blow chunks in a stripper's face or an impressionable girl who dreams of being trained at a frat party or the angry drunk who wants to get really loaded and forget, Piswasser is the beverage you need to take life to the next level. It's the beer that makes dreams come true. Ten years ago, Piswasser was just another cheap German beer for mustached Europeans in leather shorts who ride the "bahn". Now, after a couple of clever ads featuring ugly men hooking up with porn stars, and a really catchy radio jingle, Piswasser has become one of the best-known and most overpriced lagers in the world. That's because you can take the cheapest swill made in a country, export it, and dummies that want to appear sophisticated will guzzle the stuff. 11% proof with a crisp, salty taste, Piswasser is brewed from rice, barley, hops and the fresh urine of Bavarian virgins, or so we claim. In fact it is made in a big factory along with lots of other brands of beer and several household cleaning products. Served in a sleek glass bottle that successfully doubles as a lethal weapon, Piswasser packs a punch like a prize fighter, especially when you drink it through a straw. Synonymous with fast driving and domestic violence, Piswasser is packed full of fiber, nutrients and mind-altering chemicals guaranteed to have you wallowing in a pit of self-loathing by the next morning. Memory loss is a small price to pay for irresistible sex appeal and you will be grateful for the blackouts when you wake up naked in a dumpster with a lot of rectal soreness. Piswasser drinkers are smart, witty and charming, for the first hour at least, and can really belt out a tune. They ooze sophistication and anal discharge. Recent studies have also shown that beer is extremely effective at treating depression and introversion and makes you really good at pool and self flagellation. What have you got to lose?! Come on, those beers are not going to throw themselves up! If you're underage, undersexed or under-confident, try a Piswasser today! Piswasser Plastic Bed Sheets! Low alcohol, low carb, low calorie lager. Completely tasteless, on the way down at least.